Patient to his doctor…

Patient to his doctor: I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do? Doctor: Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. I’d also like to remind you about the 800 USD that you owe me?

Andy has…

Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now? Andy has diabetes now.

A woman caught her husband…

A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach. “That won’t help you, Joe, you know?” “Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”