A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!”

The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal.”

The trucker replies, “Listen sweetheart, I ain’t horny, I’m homesick.”