George W. Bush was visiting an elementary school, and the 4th grade class he sat through began a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy.” So, George W. asked the class for an example of a tragedy.
One boy stood up and said, “If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy.” “No,” said Bush, “that would be an accident.
” A girl raised her hand and said, “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone on board, that would be a tragedy.” “I’m afraid not,” the President said. “That’s what we would call a Great Loss.”
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. President Bush searched the room and asked, “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?” Finally, way in the back of the room, Johnny raised his hand, and in a quiet voice, he said, “If Air Force One, carrying Mr. and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.” “That’s right! And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?” asked the President. ”
Well,” Johnny said, “because it wouldn’t be an accident and it sure wouldn’t be a Great Loss…”
Three men are on a plane. They open a window and one throws an orange out. The other throws out an apple. The Third throws out a hand grenade.
After getting off of the plane, they see a boy crying. They ask what’s wrong, and he replies, “An apple hit me in the head!”
They see another boy crying. He says, “An orange hit me in the head!” Then they see a boy rolling on the sidewalk laughing.
They asked why he was laughing, and he replied, “I farted and my house blew up!”
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Johnny?”
“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order, everybody sitting absolutely still.
She was shocked and stunned. “I’ve never seen anything like this before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why were you so well-behaved and quiet?”
From the back of the room Little Johnny piped up, “One time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you’d drop dead.”
Just after a maid had been fired, she took 5 bucks and threw it at the family dog. When asked by her former employee, the maid answered, “I never forget a friend who helped me, I gave him 5 bucks for helping me clean the dishes all the time.
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”
There is a woman and she has 3 kids. One day her eldest child walks up to her and says, ‘mum, why am I named leaf?’ She answers with, “because when you were born a leaf dropped on your head” The kid then walks away. The next day her second born child comes up to her and says, ‘mum why am I called Raindrop?” She then says because when you were born a raindrop fell on your head. The kid then walks away. Then the third kid starts shouting out unintelligible gibberish and the mum says, “shut up fridge”
A man goes into a shop, he says to the lady in the shop, “Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?” The woman then hands him a Kit Kat Chunky. The man replied, “I only wanted a Kit Kat”
You might get in trouble for the George Bush one… Also, some people might have heard these jokes before. Are you suppose to make up the jokes?