Show business

Joke, from the 1979 movie ‘Saint Jack’: A man goes to a doctor with a severe rash on his forearm.

The doctor asks: ‘What do you do for a living?’

The man responds: ‘I work at the circus. I give enemas to elephants. That means I have to stick my hand up their ass.’

The doctor …

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You can’t deny that Rosanne Barr has the longest legs of any dame in show business.

To be able to keep a foot on the gas pedal of the bus and run yourself over with it is some Russian hooker level contortionist shit.

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Breaking into show business

One day a young man walked into a talent agency.

“I want to be a star in Hollywood! I’m very talented, and I think I can be very successful!”

The agent looks at him, and says, “Ok, you’re a decent looking fellow. Let’s see what you’ve got!”

This guy proceeds to sing and dance …

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The Pillsbury Dough Boy has died…

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

He was 71.

Doughb…

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A young frustrated actor, James, was desperately looking for a role.

He had been auditioning and auditioning to no avail. At this point, after the Weinstein revelations, he was convinced that the show business industry was completely corrupt and directors and producers only cast people who were willing to do “favours” for them.

He’d turned…

Bad Christmas cracker jokes.

Where do you find reindeer?

It depends on where you leave them!

What do reindeer have that no other animals have?

Baby reindeer!

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Snow

Snow who?

Snow business like show business!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

5.5 Quake Shakes L.A.

Every 20 years or so, a large earthquake rattles Los Angeles as a result of the tremendous buildup of pressure in every Angeleno to talk about something other than show business.
~ Scott Miller

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Mickey Mouse goes to a divorce attorney’s office…

…and files for divorce from Minnie. The lawyer says,

“Mr. Mouse, it’s very sad that you and your wife are divorcing. You’re one of show business’ most beloved couples. In order to file your request I’ll need to specify a reason why you wish to divorce your wife.”

Mickey tells him.

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