1 – A young
ensign had nearly completed his
first overseas tour of sea duty when he
was given an o…
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2 – A man is flying in a hot air balloon
and
realizes he is lost. He reduces
his altitude and spot…
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3 – Before going to Europe on business, a man
drove his
Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and w…
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4 – Two Italian
construction workers were in
the field on an extremely hot day working.. the
one s…
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5 – An
investment counselor decided to go out
on her own. She was shrewd and diligent,
so business…
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6 – Several
weeks after a young man had been
hired, he was called into
the personnel director’s off…
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7 – American businessman was at a pier in a
small coastal
Mexican village when a small boat with ju…
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8 – One day an out
of work mime is visiting
the zoo and attempts
to earn some money as a street per…
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9 – There was this man who was in a
horrible
accident, and was injured. But
the only permanent dam…
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10 – A man has spent many days
crossing the
desert without water. His camel has died of thirst. He’s…
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11 – An American automobile company and a Japanese
auto
company decided to have a competitive boat ra…
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12 – Four men were bragging about how smart their
dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second…
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13 – The Mafia was looking
for a new man to make weekly
collections from
all the private businesses…
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14 – When Abraham Liebowitz
gets to school he
discovers that he is the only
Jewish kid in the class…
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15 – ttle Johnny was in class and the teacher
announced that
they were going to try something differe…
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16 – The Mafia was looking for a new man to make
weekly collections from all the private businesses t…
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17 – A fellow had just been
hired as the new
CEO of a large high tech
corporation. The CEO who was…
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18 – The Americans and the Japanese decided to
engage in a boat
race. Both teams practiced hard and l…
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19 – The
Americans and Japanese decided to
engage in a boat race. Both teams
practiced hard and lon…
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20 – A HR Manager, his Assistant, an old woman and her young daughter are travelling in a train and durin…
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21 – Four corporate presidents, one
English,
one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their…
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22 – These two construction workers always noticed
that their boss always left
early on Fridays. So…
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23 – A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get
to
his engagement that when he arrived and sat down…
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24 – A
very successful businessman had a
meeting with his new son-in-law. “I
love my daughter, and…
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25 – Two gas company servicemen, a senior training
supervisor and a young
trainee, were out checking…
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26 – A stockbroker was cold
calling about a
penny stock and found a taker. “I think this one will
r…
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27 – The farmer goes to town one day and happens
to run
into his old pal the tractor salesman.
“Ho…
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28 – On the first day his son joined the family
firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the fact…
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29 – Fresh out of business school, the young man
answered a want
ad for an accountant. Now he was bein…
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30 – This guy is selling three parrots. Another
guy
who wants to buy a parrot approaches him and asks…
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31 – A young man asked an old rich
man how he
made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted woo…
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32 – There are three beggars begging on Wall
Street.
The first beggar wrote “Beggar” on his broken…
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33 – Kowalski, fresh out of
accounting school,
went to a interview for a good paying job. The
compa…
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34 – When the office photo-copies began to look
faint, the office manager called in a local repair se…
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35 – An American manufacturer is showing his
machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At…
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36 – An American manufacturer is showing his
machine factory to a
potential customer from Albania. At…
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37 – The boss called one of his employees into the
office.
“Rob,” he said, “you’ve been with the…
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38 – Two government economists were returning
home from a field meeting. As with all government trave…
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39 – According to inside contacts, the Japanese
banking crisis
shows no signs of ameliorating. If any…
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40 – A frog goes into
the bank and asks the
teller for a loan. The teller tells the frog to
see Mr….
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41 – A new business was opening and one of the
owner’s friends wanted to send
flowers for the occas…
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42 – A young executive was leaving the office late
one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in fro…
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43 – Tom had this problem of getting up late in
the
morning and was always late for work. His boss wa…
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44 – Tom was so excited about his promotion to
Vice
President of the company he worked for and kept b…
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45 – A customer walks into a restaurant and
notices
a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill…
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46 – A motorist, driving by a
Texas ranch, hit
and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driv…
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47 – The social
worker asked the bartender
“What’s the difference between your job and
mine?”
The…
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48 – A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay
telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly…
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49 – A young businessman rented a beautiful office
and
furnished it with antiques. However, no busine…
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50 – After being laid off from five
different
jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. O…
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51 – A Japanese guy is at Los
Angeles
International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to
Ja…
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52 – This is the story of four
people named
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an…
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53 – A businessman who needed millions of dollars
to
clinch an important deal went to church to pray…
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54 – A shopkeeper was dismayed
when a brand
new business much like his own opened up next door and…
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55 – A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported
for his first day of
work. The manager greeted him…
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56 – Smith goes to
see his supervisor in the
front office.
“Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy…
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57 – The world is divided into two groups. There
are those who
know, and those who don’t know. Those…
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58 – The Ten Commandments Of Employment
If
it rings, put it on hold.
If it clunks, call the
rep…
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59 – A man walks
into a shoe store, and tries
on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?”
asks the sale…
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60 – Did you hear about the banker who was
recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his d…
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61 – “The fees for
withdrawing money from your
ATM machines are expected to double, even
triple. Yo…
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62 – Resolving to surprise her husband, an
executive’s wife stops by his office.
As she walks in…
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63 – The boss returned from lunch in a good mood
and called the whole
staff in to listen to a couple…
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64 – An
elderly fisherman wrote to a mail
order house the following:
“Please send me one of those…
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65 – The new employee
stood before the paper
shredder looking confused.
“Need some help?” a secre…
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66 – “Information?
I need the number of the
Caseway Insurance Company.” “Would you spell
that, plea…
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67 – An applicant was filling out a job
application.
When he came to the question, “Have you ever bee…
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68 – Two
neighbors were talking about work,
when one asked, “Say, why did the
foreman fire you?”…
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69 – A wealthy investor walked into a bank and
said to the
bank manager, “I would like to speak with…
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70 – A
man went to apply for a job. After
filling out all of his applications,
he waited anxiously…
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71 – An organization is like a tree full of
monkeys…
all on different limbs,… at different le…
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72 – The banker fell overboard from a friend’s
sailboat.
The friend grabbed a life preserver, held i…
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73 – A businessman was confused about a bill he
had received, so
he asked his secretary for some mathe…
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74 – This guy is walking with his friend. He says
to this friend, “I’m a walking economy.”
The frie…
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75 – An Arthur Anderson partner comes
back to
his office and says to his manager, “Did you get my mes…
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76 – There was once a high-powered businessman who
insisted on taking his three secretaries everywher…
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77 – An Irishman goes for a
job on a building
site.
The man says, “Can you brew tea?”
The Irish…
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78 – Boss: “I’ve decided to use humor in the
office. Experts say humor
eases tension, which is import…
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79 – When Bernard got fired from his last job they
were really tough. They made him hand back his key…
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80 – Boss: “I can assure you that the value of the
average employee will continue to increase.”
Emp…
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81 – ‘I’m very sad to announce this morning,
girls, that
Miss Jones has decided to retire,’ said the…
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82 – When I asked my boss for a salary rise
because I
was doing the work of three men he said he coul…
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83 – Employer: “In this job we need someone
who is responsible.”
Applicant: “I’m the one you want….
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84 – Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller
have
tire tread marks across the back of his grey sui…
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85 – “I’m not saying that the customer service in
my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day an…
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86 – INTERVIEWER to job
applicant: “Do you
think you could come up with any reason you want this
jo…
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87 – Did you hear about the businessman who is so
rich he
has two swimming pools, one of which is alw…
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88 – “Young man, do you think you can handle a
variety
of work?”
“I ought to be able to. I’ve had…
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89 – Another friend of mine is a very successful
businessman. He started with five thousand pounds -…
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90 – Monster: Stick ’em down.
Ghost: Don’t
you mean, stick ’em up.
Monster: No wonder I’m not makin…
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91 – What did the ruthless businessman say to
his employees?
If at first you don’t succeed – you’re…
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92 – Q: What do you call a credit union volunteer
in
a room full of bank directors?
A: A superior…
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93 – I’m
always delighted when people stick
their noses in my business – my company
makes paper tis…
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94 – Mom and Dad are in the iron and
steel
business.
She does the ironing and he does the stealing….
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95 – What
happens when business is slow at a
medicine factory?
You can hear a cough drop….
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96 – Why
did the electrician close early on
Mondays?
Because business was very light….
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97 – Why did the doughnut maker retire?
He was
fed up with the hole business….
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98 – Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax
time?
A: A dependent Claus….
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99 – My husband’s business is rather up-and-down
–
he makes yo-yos….
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100 – What business is King Kong in?
Monkey
business….
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