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- Food
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A 70s Cookie Band
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A Blonde & Her Thermos
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A Happy Meal
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A Life of Crime
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A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker
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A.J. Jamal: Good Place to Eat
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A.J. Jamal: Los Angeles Homeless
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A.J. Jamal: Worshipped Animals
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Al Clethen Jr.: Catholic Dad, Baptist Mom
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Allen Edge: Burglars
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Amy Schumer: Baby Safety Ads
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Amy Schumer: False Advertising
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Andrew Norelli: Wrong Time to Worry
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Andy Borowitz: McDonald’s Express
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Animal Rotation
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Anthony Jeselnik: Addict Girlfriend
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Ants Dancing
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Apple & Worm
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Arj Barker: Central Park Ice Cream
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Arj Barker: Have Fun Trick-or-Treating, Son
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Arj Barker: Health Food Halloween Pranks
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Arj Barker: Hungry Jack’s Restaurant
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Arj Barker: No Razors in Halloween Candy
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Aron Kader: Anti-American in the Middle East
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Aziz Ansari: Cold Stone Creamery
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Barry Marder: New Slim-Fast Slogan
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Barry Marder: Sensible Diet
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Barry Sobel: Airport Food
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Beans & Onions
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Beer Nuts vs. Deer Nuts
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Bell Tower
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Ben Bailey: Restaurant Waiting Area
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Ben Kronberg: How I Like My Coffee
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Ben Kronberg: Low Carb Bakery
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Bill Coronel: Dog Food Guideline
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Bill Kirchenbauer: Sea World Seafood
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Bill Santiago: Puerto Rican Food
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Blonde & Pizza
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Blonde in a Library
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Blonde Meets Cheerios
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Blonde Waitress Warmer
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Blondes & Pickles
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Bob Marley: Atkins Diet
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Bob Marley: Chips and Dip
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Bob Marley: Failing the Atkins Diet
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Bob Marley: Friendly Waiters
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Bob Marley: Great Thing About Marriage
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Bob Marley: Nacho Type
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Bob Marley: Pizza Delivery Method
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Bob Marley: Pizza Talk
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Bob Marley: Tourette Nacho Syndrome
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Bob Marley: Waiter Service
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Bob Marley: Waiting on Pizza Delivery
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Bob Nickman: Sizzler Cheater
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Boris Hamilton: Personal Challenge
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Brave Pig With the Peg Leg
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Brett Butler: Lobster Again?
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Brian Keith Etheridge: Bumming Food
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Brian Posehn: Only One Crazy Guy
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Brian Posehn: Quitting Meat
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Brian Regan: Fig Newtons
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Brian Regan: Food Combinations
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Brian Regan: Lay Off the Dairy
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Brian Regan: Microwaving Pop Tarts
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Brian Regan: Real Italian Food World
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Brian Regan: Serving Size
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Bruce Baum: Jeffrey Dahmer
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Butcher Booty Call… Meat
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Butcher Booty Call… Sausage
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Carb Chat
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Carlos Mencia: Not So Different
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Carol Leifer: British Money
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Chad Daniels: My Wife’s Friends
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Cheese
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Chef Clown
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Chelsea Handler: My First Midget
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Chocolate Plus Viagra
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Chris Rock: Invading a Country with Oil
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Chris Zito: Harassing Burger King Employees
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Cindy Eaton: Celebrity Candy Bar
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Classic Booty Call… Meat
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Classic Booty Call… Raisins
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Clinton Jackson: Energy Drinks
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Cory Kahaney: Handling Halloween
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Cory Kahaney: Meeting Guys in Bars
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Cory Kahaney: Save the Children
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Cross the Road… Fat Turkey
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Damon Wayans: Fasting
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Damon Wayans: Hollywood Changes People
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Dan Allen: Vegan Ex-Girlfriend
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Dan Cummins: Not Vegetarian
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Dan Devido: Joe Franklin Sandwich
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Dan Mintz: Ordering for the Woman
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Dan Rosen: America Sends Food
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Dana Gould: Hungry Daughter
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Dana Gould: Uncomfortable in Restaurants
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Daniel Tosh: Dad’s Breakfast Talk
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Daniel Tosh: Tastes Like Ethnicity
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Daniel Tosh: Who Sinned First
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Darrell Hammond: Back in New York
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Dave Nystrom: Drunk in the Middle of the Day
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David Cross: Delicious Ugly Animals
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David Cross: Intelligent Dolphins
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David Feldman: Dolphin Intelligence
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David Feldman: On Cannibalism
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Dead in His Cornflakes
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Demetri Martin: Fruit Baskets
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Demetri Martin: Naming Foods
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Demetri Martin: Neighborhood Diner
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Demetri Martin: Rice Milk
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Denis Leary: Airplane Eaters
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Denis Leary: Obesity Statistics
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Denis Leary: Resuming Air Travel
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DL Hughley: Pretty Women Can’t Cook
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Dom Irrera: Need a Cookie
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Don’t Play with Your Food
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Donald Glover: Kix Cereal
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Donkey-Onion Hybrid
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Dov Davidoff: Try Lamb Skin
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Dwayne Perkins: Keep the Date Cheap
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Dwayne Perkins: Not Going Dutch
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Dwayne Perkins: The Expensive Page
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Earthquake: Little Stuff, Little Jail Time
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Earthquake: Noah Was Not Black
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Eating Cake Lately?
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Eating Right
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Elevator Shoes
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Empty Cheez Whiz
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Eric Kirchberger: Evolution Problem
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Eugene Mirman: Helping the Homeless
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Fabrice Fabrice – Olive Garden
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Fabrice Fabrice: Fried Chicken
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Fired From the Poultry Shop
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Fly in My Soup
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Fly, Soup, the Usual
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Forget About It
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Frank Prinzi: Love Grape Nuts
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Frank Prinzi: Simplest Things Make Me Happy
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Frank Prinzi: Trouble Sleeping
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Funny Apple
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Gabriel Iglesias: First Thing That Comes to Mind
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Gabriel Rutledge: Delivery Guy
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Gene Pompa: Go Ahead
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Gene Pompa: Hardcore Political Activist
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Got Nuts?
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Gourmet Booty Call… Boil
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Gourmet Booty Call… Compliments
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Gourmet Booty Call… Cream
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Gourmet Booty Call… Crudite
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Gourmet Booty Call… Cucumber
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Gourmet Booty Call… Eating Out
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Gourmet Booty Call… Infusion
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Gourmet Booty Call… Knife
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Gourmet Booty Call… Lick
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Gourmet Booty Call… Marinate
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Gourmet Booty Call… Meat
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Gourmet Booty Call… Rise
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Gourmet Booty Call… Sous Chef
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Gourmet Booty Call… Stuffing
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Gourmet Booty Call… Temperature
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Gourmet Booty Call… Toast
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Gourmet Booty Call… Whisk
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Greg Behrendt: For Cake
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Greg Behrendt: Halloween Rules
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Greg Giraldo: Edible Underwear
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Greg Giraldo: Obese American Adults
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Greg Proops: Animal Functions
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Hannibal Buress: Believe in Yourself
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Hannibal Buress: Praying for You
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Hannibal Buress: Want a Cookie?
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Hari Kondabolu: Love Chocolate
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Hari Kondabolu: Vegan Soul Food
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Hari Kondabolu: Vegan Thanksgiving
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Hari Kondabolu: White Chocolate
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Harland Williams: Barbecue Recipe
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Harland Williams: Can’t Sleep
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Harland Williams: No Airbag
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Harland Williams: No Vehicle, No Service
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Harland Williams: Pillsbury Doughboy Government Secret
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Harland Williams: Stuffing the Mattress
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I Don’t Like My Brother
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Irish Eats Italian
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Jackie Kashian: Of Course You’ll Want Cake
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Jake Johannsen: Chinese Food
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James Davis: McDonald’s Breakfast End Time
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Jamie Kennedy: New York Pizza
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Jamie Kennedy: The Eucharist
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Janeane Garofalo: Cake in the House
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Janeane Garofalo: Grapefruit and Tumors
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JB Smoove: Bad Chicken
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Jeff Dunham: Being Overeager with Frozen Drinks and Marriage
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Jeff Dunham: How Women Age
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Jeff Dunham: Meat Thermometer Tip
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Jeff Garcia: Picking a Fight With America
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Jeff Mac: Baseball’s Best Burger
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Jen Kirkman: Weight Gain
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Jesse Popp: Cooking
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Jessi Klein: Hanukkah Tradition
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Jim Gaffigan: Bologna
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Jim Gaffigan: Seafood is Disgusting
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Jim Gaffigan: Why Don’t You Drink?
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Jimmie Roulette: Dumb Animals
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Jimmy Carr: Sense of Taste
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Jodie Wasserman: Not Pregnant
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Joe Starr: Perfect Weight
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Joey Kola: Don’t Want to Lose Weight
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Joey Kola: My Wife’s Shopping Skills
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Joey Kola: Six-Year-Old Son
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Joey Vega: The Wait to Go Swimming
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John Caparulo: Fat Customer in a Sandwich Shop
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John Ferrentino: Watching “Alive”
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John Mendoza: In Denny’s on Your Birthday
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John Oliver: Gastronomic Evolution
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John Oliver: New Boston Tea Party
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John Pinette: Chinese Food
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John Pinette: Health Food
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John Ridley: Indian Restaurants
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Jon Dore: Died of Hunger
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Jon Dore: Hiding From the Nazis
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Jon Manfrellotti: Eating the Fake Food
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Jon Reep: A Good Ol’ Metrosexual Boy
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Jonah Ray: Facebook Foodie
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Jordan Rubin: Vegetarian
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Josh Sneed: Children’s Food Toys
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Judy Gold: Selling Candy for Band Trips
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Kelly MacFarland: Salad Time
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Kevin Kataoka: Pay Toilets
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Kevin Meaney: Thanksgiving Turkey
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Knock, Knock… Banana
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Kyle Grooms: Good Cookies
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Kyle Kinane: Cheddar Bay Biscuits Fan
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Larry the Cable Guy: Fishing While Hammered
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Laura House: Stripping in Russia
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Laura Kightlinger: Answering the Door
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Lauren Dombrowski: Holidays Are Important
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Lawyers Love Sushi
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Leo Allen: Another Saying
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Leo Allen: Hating Vegans
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Leo Allen: If Animals Could Talk
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Lewis Black: All the Candy Corn Ever Made
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Lewis Black: The International House of Pancakes
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Lisa Gopman: Eating Disorder
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Lisa Gopman: Hungry in L.A.
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Lisa Landry: On Southern Fried Foods
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Lizz Winstead: Bran-Eating Roommate
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Lizz Winstead: Compassionate Conservative
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Lizz Winstead: Potato Chip Technology
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Loni Love: Jesus Sighting
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Loni Love: On Condoleezza Rice
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Louis C.K.: One of Those Lucky People
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Louis Ramey: Cover You in Honey
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Louis Ramey: Not on the Menu
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Lynne Koplitz: Insulted by a Homeless Guy
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Lynne Koplitz: Manhattan Children
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Lynne Koplitz: Size Zero Roommate
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Mad Cow Concern
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Marc Maron: Ice Cream Flavors
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Maria Bamford: 30 Ways to Shape Up
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Maria Bamford: I Speak Tiger
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Maria Bamford: Ordering Coffee
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Maria Bamford: Pie Hole
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Maria Bamford: Political Aspirations
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Marina Franklin: White People in Harlem
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Mark Curry: Fun at Fashion Shows
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Mark Curry: Mad Models
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Mark Schiff: Always Want a Bite
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Mark Schiff: Dieting
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Marta Ravin: Work-Related Medical Condition
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Matt Braunger: Cadbury Cream Eggs
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Matt Braunger: Cadbury Creme Eggs
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Matt Braunger: Recent Weight Loss
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Medieval Booty Call… Food
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Michael Kosta: Definition of Vegan
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Michael Kosta: Prefer Anorexics
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Michael Kosta: Sex With a Vegan
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Michael Palascak: Hybrid SUVs
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Mike Birbiglia: Pick Up Some Donut Language
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Mike Birbiglia: Sex and Pizza
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Mike Lawrence: Child of Divorce
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Mike Lawrence: My Vietnam
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Mike Sweeney: Mexican Explosion
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Mitch Hedberg: Baked Potato
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Mitch Hedberg: Butter vs. Margarine
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Mitch Hedberg: Buying Doughnuts
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Mitch Hedberg: Candle Holder
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Mitch Hedberg: Cinnamon Roll Incense
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Mitch Hedberg: Instant Oatmeal
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Mitch Hedberg: Kit-Kats
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Mitch Hedberg: Mitch’s Pizzeria
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Mitch Hedberg: Pissed Off at Turkeys
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Mitch Hedberg: Please Try Again
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Mitch Hedberg: Pringles’ Intention
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Mitch Hedberg: Rotisserie Chicken
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Mitch Hedberg: Subway’s Duck Policy
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Modern Science
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Muffin Chat
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Myq Kaplan: Being a Vegetarian
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Myq Kaplan: Fighting Magneto
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Natasha Leggero: Sex With a Prostitute
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Natasha Leggero: Woman Who Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant
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Nick DiPaolo: Keeping the Weight Down
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Nick DiPaolo: Uncut Pizza
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Nick Kroll: Cheesecake Factory
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Nick Swardson: Taco Bell Employee Perks
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Nick Turner: Eating Pizza
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Norm MacDonald: Cat Food Commercial
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One-Legged People
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Oops Banana
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Oppressive Potato
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Orange
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Panda Booty Call… Eat
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Pat Hazell: Four-Pack of Toilet Paper
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Patrice O’Neal: The Mystery of the Thousand-Pound Man
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Patton Oswalt: Suicide Pinata
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Paul F. Tompkins: Self-conscious About Appearance
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Paul Mooney: Before Jeffrey Dahmer
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Paul Provenza: Airline Peanuts
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Pea Soup vs. Roast Beef
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Peanut Butter Rooster
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Pete Holmes: Burger King God
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Pete Holmes: Hey! You Make a Movie!
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Pete Holmes: Things Adults Can Do, Part Two
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Pete Holmes: Wall Drug: The Oldest Drug Store in America
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Pregnant Dairy Queen
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Rene Hicks: Celibates and Vegetarians
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Retta: Customer Service in NYC
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Retta: Nondairy Creamer
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Retta: Two Words That Shouldn’t Describe the Same Product
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Richard Jeni: Cooking Shows
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Richard Jeni: Lobster Tank
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Richard Jeni: Lobsters Flown In
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Richard Lewis: Life Is Food
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Richard Trask: Neighborhood Fast Food Places
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Rick Corso: Mozzarella Sticks
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Rick Gutierrez: Fat Epidemic
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Robert Hawkins: The Problem With Kids Today
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Robert Kelly: Applebee’s Desserts
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Robert Kelly: Love the Applebee’s
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Robin Montague: Backwards in Hollywood
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Robin Montague: Models Can’t Eat
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Roger Rittenhouse: Bungee Jumping
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Roger Rittenhouse: Don’t Eat Right
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Ron White: Helping the Planet
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Ronald McDonald in a Nudist Colony
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Rooster and Lollipop
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Rory Albanese: Junk Food Binge
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Rory Albanese: London McDonald’s
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Ross Shafer: Men Are Simple
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Rug
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Russ Meneve: Pizza Delivery Porn
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Rusty Ward: Obsessed With Food
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Ryan Stout: If Animals Could Talk
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Sabrina Matthews: Diet Pills
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Sabrina Matthews: Ice Cream Power
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Sabrina Matthews: SAT Words
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Sarah Colonna: Finer Things in Life
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Sausage Roll
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Scott Kennedy: Big Boys Can Cook
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Scott LaRose: Heavy Chocolate
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Sean Morey: Bad Waiters
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Sebastian Maniscalco: Lemon Loaf
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Sebastian Maniscalco: Sushi Dinner Date
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Sex Over-Easy
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Shane Mauss: Pineapple Juice
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Shane Mauss: Tastes Just Like Chicken
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Sheik That Rooster
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Sheng Wang: Ahead of Its Time
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Sheng Wang: Crazy Crab’z
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Sheng Wang: Diamonds Are Forever
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Sheng Wang: Eating a Pomegranate
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Sheng Wang: Man With a Comb Over
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Sheng Wang: The Munchies
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Shirley Hemphill: No Kinky Food Stuff
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Shrooming
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Skeleton
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Steak and Sex
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Sue Murphy: Oven Mitts
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Surrealists & Light Bulbs
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Tammy Pescatelli: Thin Hollywood Actresses
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Taste It
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Tasty treat
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That Damn Ham
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The Blonde’s Special Order
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The Butcher’s Wife
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The Mystery of the Thermos
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The Sklar Brothers: Crappy Snacks
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The Sklar Brothers: Snack Cakes
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Things Never Said by Southerners
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Tig: In SkyMall Magazine
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Todd Barry: Italian Food
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Todd Barry: Owning a Wok
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Tofu & Dildos
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Tom Rhodes: English Food
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Tomato in Training
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Tony Rock: Whole Other Level
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Tony Woods: Goldilocks
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Tracy Smith: The Only Woman on Earth
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Truck Driver & The Bikers
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Two pretzels walk into a bar and one is …
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Two sausages were frying in a pan
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Under the Apron
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Vanessa Hollingshead: Shopping for a Little Black Dress
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Victoria Jackson: Family Restaurant
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Viking Booty Call… Lips
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Walks Into a Bar… Cheese Sandwich
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Walks Into a Bar… Menu
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Wanda Sykes: Cutting Out Carbs
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Wanda Sykes: Like Going Out to a Restaurant
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Wanda Sykes: Nephews
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Wayne Federman: Likin’ the Bell
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Wayne Federman: Movie Theater Hot Dog
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Wendy Liebman: Running When Necessary
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What did the mother turkey
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What do you get when you divide …
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Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex
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Why Coffee Is Better Than Women
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Why It Sucks to Be an Egg
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Why So Much Milk?
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Why Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex
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Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Hot Dogs
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Yo’ Mama Is So Fat… Lifeguard
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Yo’ Mama Is So Poor… Bird Seed
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Yo’ Mama Is So Poor… Fork
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Yo’ Mama Is So Poor… Grocery Store
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Yo’ Mama Is So Poor… KFC
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Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Cheerios
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Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Donut Seeds
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Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Food Stamps
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Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Juice
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Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Order in the Court
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Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Returned Donut
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Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Ribbed Condom
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Yo’ Mama Is So Stupid… Rice
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Yo’ Mama Is So Ugly… Onions
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Yo’ Mama’s Cooking… Homeless
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Yo’ Mama’s Cooking… Prayer
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You know you drink too much coffee when…
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You Know You’re Addicted to Coffee When…
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