Enjoy our collection of bar jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!
Two Finger Joke
A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers, “Sir can I have five beers please.”
Rating: 2.9/5 (170 votes cast)
Best Friend Joke
Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another.
Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom.
“Tom what’s going on?” Mark asked.
“It’s my wife Beckie,” Tom replied. “She ran off with my best friend!”
“Hey wait a second! Said Mark “Aren’t I your best friend?”
“Not any more,” Tom said with a happy smile.
Rating: 3.3/5 (204 votes cast)
Bar Excuse Joke
Harry was sick and tired of being constantly badgered by his wife Barbara for spending so much time at the bar. Hoping it would help matters, Harry invited Barbara along with him.
“So what would you like?” Harry cordially asked, as she took her seat next to him. “Oh I don’t know” Barbara replied, “I guess I’ll take the same thing as you.”
“OK” said Harry to the bartender, “we’ll take two Johnny Walker’s on the rocks!”
Barbara barely took a sip of the drink before she started gagging “Oh my gosh! Get me a cup of water! This stuff is horrible! How do you drink this garbage?”
“See?” said Harry “and you think I come here just to have a good time?!“
Rating: 3.0/5 (176 votes cast)
So this Chinese fellow walks into a bar with a huge colorful parrot on his shoulder. “Wow”, says the bartender, “where did you get that from?” “From China”, answered the parrot, “they’ve got tons of them there!”
Rating: 3.4/5 (167 votes cast)
Mushroom Bar Joke
A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender tells him to get out.
The mushroom says, “why? I’m a fun-guy.”
Rating: 2.8/5 (137 votes cast)
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
Rating: 3.1/5 (84 votes cast)
The Bar Joke
A man walks into a bar obviously stone drunk, and asks for a drink. Sorry the bartender but you obviously already had a little to much to drink. Fuming mad the drunk walks out the front door and walks into the side door. “Can I have a drink please.” “Sorry” the bartender says “but you can’t have a drink here.” The drink walks out and goes in through the back door. “Can I please have a drink.” “Enough!” The bartender screamed “I told You No Drinks!” The Drunk looks at the bartender closely and exclaimed “Darn! how many bars you work at.”
Rating: 3.6/5 (217 votes cast)