Top 10 Best Science Jokes


Why did the physicist disconnect his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!


What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?

“Gotta split!”


Where does a chemist put the dishes?

In the Zinc!



Who’s there?

Knock knock.

(I suppose that’s relatively funny.)


Two fermions walk into a bar. One orders a drink.

The other says “I’ll have what he’s having.”


A neutron walks into a bar, sits down and asks for a drink. Finishing, the neutron asks “How much?”

The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”


Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently. One said: “Why do you look so sad?”

The other responded: “I lost an electron.”

Concerned, One asked “Are you sure?”

The other replied “I’m positive.”


What is the Heineken Uncertainty Principle?

You can never be sure how many beers you had last night!


How do you spot a chemist in the bathroom?

He’s the one who washes his hands BEFORE peeing!


Why are quantum physicists so bad at sex?

Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position!