Our funny science jokes and puns will make you laugh if you can understand them. Make sure to also check out our math and other funny jokes categories.
Funny Popular Joke – 38
A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
Funny Sexist Joke – 9
Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional.” The second guy says, “I’m a DINK. You know, double income, no kids.” The third guy says, “I’m a RUB. You know, rich urban biker.” They turn to the woman and ask, “So what are you?” The woman replies, “I’m a WIFE. You know – Wash, Iron, F***, Etc.”
Funny Sexist Joke – 5
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a kiss?” She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she’s finished, the tough, hairy biker says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That’s a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?” “My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl…”
Funny Sexist Joke – 4
A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”
Funny Science Joke – 15
Two hydrogen atoms are at a party and bump into each other. The first one says, “Hey, grab that electron, it’s mine!” “How do you know?” asks the second. “‘Cause I’m positive!” the first replies.
Funny Science Joke – 14
When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. I hear they’re trying to come up with the perfect vacuum.
Funny Science Joke – 13
A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, “Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?” The photon says, “No thanks, I’m traveling light.”
Funny Science Joke – 12
Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek. Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush, and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it. Archimedes finds Newton first, of course, but Newton replies, “Nope. One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal.”
Funny Science Joke – 11
When Magnesium and Oxygen started dating I was like, “O MG!”
Funny Science Joke – 10
Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything.
Funny Science Joke – 9
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Funny Science Joke – 8
Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.
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