#1 Once you have their money… never give it back.
#3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
#6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
#7 Keep your ears open.
#8 Small print leads to large risk.
#9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
#10 Greed is eternal.
#13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
#16 A deal is a deal… until a better one comes along.
#18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
#19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
#21 Never place friendship above profit.
#22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
#27 There’s nothing more dangerous than an honest business man.
#31 Never make fun of a Ferengi’s mother… insult something he cares about instead.
#33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
#34 Peace is good for business.
#35 War is good for business.
#40 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
#41 Profit is it’s own more…

MEAT — Terry Bisson

———————————————————————
Imagine if you will… the leader of the fifth invader force speaking to the commander in chief…

‘ They’re made out of meat!’

‘Meat?’

‘Meat. They’re made out of meat.’

‘Meat?’

‘There’s no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They’re completely meat.’

‘That’s impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars.’

‘They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don’t come from them. The signals come from machines.’

‘So who made the machines? That’s who we want to contact.’

‘They made the machines. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.’

‘That’s ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You’re asking me to believe in sentient more…

I am Clinton of Borg. You will not really be assimilated, exactly…
I am Janet Reno of Borg. Resisters will be barbecued. Waco is irrelevant.
I am Stephanopolous of Borg. It’s not assimilation, it’s diversity…
I am Hillary of Borg. Prepare to be. .. uh, I don’t recall.
I am Madonna of Borg. Resistance turns me on.
I am Kojak of Borg. Who loves to assimilate ya, baby.
I am Ginsu of Borg. You WILL be ASSIMILATED, but wait! That’s not all!
I am Hamlet, of Borg! Prepare to be…or not to be…
I am Oprah of Borg. So, why did you assimilate your husband?
I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
I am Haskell of Borg. You resist well, Mrs. Cleaver.
I am Lennon of Borg. Imagine there’s no assimilation…
I am Baez of Borg. What if we gave an assimilation and nobody came?
I am Opie of Borg. Can I assimilate’ em, Pa?
I am Quayle of Borg. Speling is irelevante.
I am Smorgas of Borg. You will be marinated.
I am more…

The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new
Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding.

Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for
quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided
by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers
rushing to the scene…

The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding.

Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see lawyers rushing to the scene…

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