Warning

Q: Daddy, why are all those cars beeping their horns?

A: Because there’s a wedding going happening.

Q: Don’t we been the horn a warning signal, Daddy?

A: Exactly, son.

Q: Daddy, why are all those cars beeping their horns?

A: Because there’s a wedding going happening.

Q: Don’t we been the horn a warning signal, Daddy?

A: Exactly, son.

A proposal

How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

Flaky Love

You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

Hard to Breathe

You are like my asthma. You just take my breath away.

You are like my asthma. You just take my breath away.

Computer Crush

My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

Olive Who?

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive, who?

Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive, who?

Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it.

Broken Crush

What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?

Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.

What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?

Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.

Dating a Goalie

Why should you never break up with a goalie?

Because he is a keeper.

Why should you never break up with a goalie?

Because he is a keeper.

Valentine’s Date

Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Yes, it is February 14th.

Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Yes, it is February 14th.

Vampire Romance

What happened when the two vampires went on a blind date?

It was love at first bite.

What happened when the two vampires went on a blind date?

It was love at first bite.

Tides of Love

What did one boat say to the other?

Are you up for a little row-mance?

What did one boat say to the other?

Are you up for a little row-mance?

Tennis Match

Why should you not marry a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

Why should you not marry a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

Love is Blind

What’s the difference between love and marriage?

Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.

What’s the difference between love and marriage?

Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.

New Jacket

I was in the shop looking for a jacket to buy my girlfriend as a present.

I couldn’t decide which one to get, so I asked the salesman, “If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend, which one would you get?

He said, “A bulletproof one. I’m married.”

I was in the shop looking for a jacket to buy my girlfriend as a present. I couldn’t decide which one to get, so I asked the salesman, “If you…

What Men Really Love

I said, “I love you so much. I could never live without you.”

My girlfriend giggled and asked, “Is that you talking or the beer?”

I said, “It’s me talking to the beer…”

I said, “I love you so much. I could never live without you.” My girlfriend giggled and asked, “Is that you talking or the beer?” I said, “It’s me talking…

She’s a Keeper

My new girlfriend works at the zoo.

I think she’s a keeper.

My new girlfriend works at the zoo.

I think she’s a keeper.

Love Versus Marriage

What’s the difference between love and marriage?

Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

What’s the difference between love and marriage?

Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

Exes

Relationships are a lot like algebra.

Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

Relationships are a lot like algebra.

Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

Worrying in Love

Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

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