Here are funny walks into a bar jokes and puns. We hope they bring you lots of laughs. We also have jokes about alcohol, beer, drinking, bars and more so be sure to check out our other funny jokes categories.
Giraffe Walks Into a Bar Joke
A giraffe walks into a bar. “Sorry”, said the barman, “We don’t serve Heineken here.”
New Walks Into a Bar Joke
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. After watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player’s and whispers ” Wow, that’s a really smart dog!” The man whispers backs “He isn’t that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!”
A Drunk Walks Into a Bar Joke
A drunk man comes inside a bar and says, “Happy New Year everybody.” and the waiter says, “We are in June you drunk man.” And the drunk man says, “Oh my god my wife is going to kill me I have never been so late in my life!”
Chuck Norris Walks Into a Bar Joke
Chuck Norris walks into a bar… the beer starts to run.
Police Walks Into a Bar Joke
After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 am?”, said the officer. “I’m going to a lecture.”, the man said. And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?”, the cop asked. “My wife!!!” said the man.
German Walks Into a Bar Joke
A guy was meeting a friend in a bar, and as he walked in he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other, “Nine.” Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had just rated him a nine out of ten. “Sorry to spoil your evening,” said his friend, “but when I walked in they were speaking German”
Silly Walks Into a Bar Joke
One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says “Oh just a beer”. The bartender asked the man “What’s wrong, why are you so down today?” The man said “My wife and I got into a fight, and she said she wouldn’t talk to me for a month”. The bartender said “So what’s wrong with that”? The man said “Well the month is up tonight”.
This Guy Walks Into a Bar Joke
This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can show him something unbelievable, he gets a free beer? The bartender says alright. So the man puts a hamster and two frogs on the bar and all of a sudden the two frogs jump up and start into a Broadway medley. Well, a man at the end of the bar said, “That’s amazing, I’ll give you $1,000 for the frogs.” The man agreed the guy took off. The bartender said to him, “You could have gotten more for the frogs.” The man said, “Frogs are easy to come by, the hamster’s a ventriloquist.”
Caesar Walks Into a Bar Joke
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. “I’ll have a martinus,” he says. The Bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, “Don’t you mean a ‘martini’?” “Look,” Caesar retorts, “If I wanted a double, I’d have asked for it!”
Silly Walks Into a Bar Joke
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He orders a beer, and another, and another, etc., until finally the bartender asked him to leave. He walks out the side door, and a few seconds later, he walks in the front door, sits down, orders a drink, and the bartender asks him to leave. He gets up, walks out the side door, and comes back in the front door and is asked to leave. This happens about eight more times, and on the ninth, the man exclaims,” How many bars do you work in, man?!?
A Guy Walks Into a Bar Joke
A guy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last one in the and does the same. The bartender asks him, “Why did you do that?” And the guy replies, ” Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!”
Alligator Walks Into a Bar Joke
A man walks into a bar with his alligator and asks: “Do you serve lawyers here?”. The bartender says: “Yes, of course we do!” The man says, “OK, I’ll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator.”
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