When I entered, he already had a glass of bourbon poured. ‘Drink up,’ he offered. Then proceeded to light a cigarette. ‘Would you like one too?’ Oh shit, I thought, I’m gonna get fired. ‘Please don’t fire me!’ I pleaded.…

Dear Sir, We are writing to you because you have violated copyright …

My mom said she learns from her mistakes.

Leave me alone Im Putin

Its pasteurized before you even see it!

A man is sitting at the bar drinking a beer. He hears “nice suit”. He looks around, but there is nobody near him. He shrugs it off, takes another sip. He hears “nice shoes too!” Startled, he looks around again…

Neither. Its warm. *picks up lightsaber *warm warm warm*

The new COD has space battles and Star Wars battlefront doesn’t.

How have you bean?

How their name’s spelt.