A drunk fella walks into a bar and, after sussing out the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him hard. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look just like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

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