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TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile”?

JOHN : “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong

JOHN : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!




TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH : “HIJKLMNO”!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

SARAH : Yesterday you said it’s H to O!



TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.


GEORGE : Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS : George!




TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
didn’thave ten years ago.

WILLY : Me!


TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

TOMMY : Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.



TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”


SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?

SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.


TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.

SAMMY : You can’t fool me, Teacher… snakes don’t have feet.


TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

JOSE : Don’t bite any.


TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I”.

ELLEN : I is…

TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, “I am.”

ELLEN : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”


MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?

JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.


TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the
other what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

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