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Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won’t freeze ?
Pupil: Hot water !

Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ?
Pupil: All of them !

Why was the head teacher worried ?
Because there were so many rulers in the school !

Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line ?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there !

Teacher: If I bought a hundred current buns for a dollar, what would each bun be ?
Pupil: Stale !

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you’ve only drawn the cow ?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !

Teacher: What is can’t short for ?
Pupil: Cannot miss
Teacher: and what is don’t short for
Pupil: Doughnut !

Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the Dog Star is ?
Pupil: Lassie !

Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia ?
Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines !

Teacher: Why are you standing on your head ?
Pupil: I’m just turning over things in my mind, sir !

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