Teacher: “Kids,what does the chicken give you?”
Student: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
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Two computer science students met on campus one day.

The first student called out to the other, “Hey, nice bike! Where did you get it?”

“Well,” replied the other, “I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young co-ed rode up on this bike.
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”

“None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away.”

“Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher, “but I like the way you’re thinking.”
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Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on.

By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

The She almost cried when the little boy said, ‘Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.’
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Nursery school teacher says to her class, “Who can use the word ‘Definitely’ in a sentence?”

First a little girl says “The sky is definitely blue” Teacher says, “Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange…”

Second little boy…”Trees are definitely green” “Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown.”
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A small boy named Hameed lived in a village in Morocco. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him “You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!!!”

One day Hameed’s mother came into school to check on how he was doing.

The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!!

The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!

25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform…… Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful……
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Little Johnny likes to gamble.

One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.

Johnny’s daddy thinks, “I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.”

So he calls the teacher and says, “My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.”
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Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe?”

When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep.
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A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!”

His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?

The son replied, “I do know!”
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Little girl says to her mum.

“Mum the boys in my class say I’m the best at doing handstand in the school”
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A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment:

To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

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Ashley said, ‘My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.

One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front
seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.’

‘What’s the morale of that story?’ asked the teacher.

‘Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!’

‘Very good,’ said the teacher.
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