Here is a collection of School jokes to enjoy with your kids. How about using them to get in the mood for “Back To School”? You can read all our school jokes online below, or print out a selection of the jokes as one of our foldable mini booklets, a full page printable, 4 sets of bookmarks, and 16 fun lunch box notes that you can use to make lunches more fun. The bookmarks (and the lunch box notes) also make a great classroom incentive!

School Joke Printables

School Jokes to Enjoy Now!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Dewey who?
Dewey have to go to school today?

Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?
She couldn’t control her pupils!

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t”.
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

What school supply is always tired?
A knapsack!

Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Kid: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I’m paying as little attention as I can.

Teacher: James, where is your homework?
James: I ate it.
Teacher: Why?
James: You said it was a piece of cake!

Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Pupil: I used his pen!

Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.
Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got!

What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
The first goes “Spit out that chewing gum immediately!” and the second goes “chew chew”!

Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
What was that?
My homework!

What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A blackboard!

Teacher: What is the most important thing you have ever learned in chemistry?
Sam: Don’t lick the spoon!

How is an English teacher like a judge?
They both hand out sentences!

Why didn’t the two 4s want any lunch?
Because they already 8!

What’s big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten mom’s day?
The school bus.

Why did the teacher turn on the lights?
Because her class was so dim!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her class was so bright!

How was your first day of term?
Fine, but some man called Teacher kept spoiling all our fun!

How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!

Why is a classroom like an old car?
Because it’s full of nuts and has a crank up front!

When do you get shouted at for something you didn’t do?
When you haven’t done your homework!

Why did the echo get detention?
For answering back!

What did one maths book say to the other?
Boy, do I have problems!

What is black and white and very hard?
An exam paper!

What is a butterfly’s favourite subject at school?

School Jokes divider

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