Everyone loves some funny marriage and relationship jokes even if they themselves are single. Married or engaged couples especially find these jokes funny as they can relate to them. So for all the love birds out there; we have fifteen funniest marriage and relationship jokes below. Continue reading and roll on the floor laughing with your loved one.
1. A married couple comes to the marriage counselor.
The wife complains: “We were having a perfect marriage until his girlfriend started dating my boyfriend.”
2. According to the statistics, the most popular SMS among men is: I love you too.
3. A girl tells her boyfriend:
After our marriage I will let you kiss me where nobody else has kissed me.
Where is that?
4. A lot of things have changed in my life since I got to know that my girlfriend got pregnant. My name, living address, phone number…
5. A woman come to a doctor, with bumps and bruising all over her body. The woman complains that it was her husband, who beat her.
Doctor tells in surprise: “I thought your husband was out of town.”
“So did I.”
6. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
7. Woman standing in front of the mirror complains to her husband: “I look ugly. At least you tell me any compliment!”
Husband: “Your vision is perfect!”
8. Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops.
9. A wife to her husband:
“Honey, what are you doing?”
“I’m reading our marriage certificate.”
“I’m looking for the expiry date.”
10. Woman don’t understand how a man with two kidneys may say that he can’t afford to buy her a new fur coat.
11. Man: what you have prepared to eat today?
Man: But you made nothing yesterday.
Wife: I made it for two days.
12. Want to hear an interesting story?
Send a message to your wife: “I know everything, how could you?”
13. Anyone who says their wedding days was the best day of their life, has obviously never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
14. Two friends talking:
My wife left me for my best friend.
I thought I was your best friend.
Now he is.
15. Two friends talking:
I think my wife has a lover – a florist.
How do you know?
When I returned home after work, I found freshly gathered roses on the bed.
Well, and I think my wife has a lover – a plumber.
How do you know?
When I returned home after work, I found a plumber, lying on the bed.
16. “My Darling,” said a husband to his wife, “I invited a friend for lunch.”
“What? Are you crazy?” The wife replied. “The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, and I am not going to prepare any meal.”
“I know that” husband replied.
“So why did you invite him then”? She asked.
“Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.”