Bar jokes – Really Short Funny Jokes
Humorous Bar jokes
Some Stole Things from Me (3/30/2010)
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.`They’re stolen the dashboard ,the steering wheel,the brake pedal,the radio ,and even the accelerator ,`he cried out.
The Wife Is Not Speaking To Me (12/14/2009)
One night,this guy came into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink ,Then he asked for another.After a couple more drinks ,the bartender got worried.`What’s the matter?` the bartender asked.`My wife and T got into a fight ,`explained the guy ,`And now she isn’t talking to me for the whole 31 days.`
One Day in the Basement (9/28/2009)
Three men walked into a bar.The bartender said,`if you can stay in my basement for a day I will give you free beer forever. ` The first man said `easy`,but walks out 5 inutes later,`it’s impossible,you have got swarm of files there.`
Having less! (9/19/2009)
A guy walks into a bar and approaches the baman,`Can I have a pint of less,please?’ ¡°I ‘m sorry sir,` the baman repies ,looking slightly puzzled,`I’ve no idea,` replies the guy,` The things is ,I went to see my doctor last week and he told me that I should drink lees`
You looked a lot like My Wife (9/17/2009)
A serious drunk walked into a bar and ,after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar,walked over to her and kissed her.She jumped up and slapped him silly.He immediately apologized and explained,`I’m sorry . I thought you were my wife.You look exactly like her.`
You Think You’re Tough (8/30/2009)
A guy walks into a bar and demands to know ,¡°Who’s the strongest here?` The toughest guy looks at him and says ,`I am the strongest around here?`
The other guy politely asks ,`Can you help me push my car to the gas station?`
On the Buses (8/25/2009)
A drunke man gets on the bus late one night staggers up the aisle,and sits next to an elderly wowan.
She lookes the man up and down and says ,`I’ve got news for you ,You’re going straight to hell
That¡¯s Not My Dog (8/19/2009)
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. ¡°Does your dog bite?¡±
A Five Doller Tip (8/18/2009)
A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini The man downed it with one swallow,put a five dollar bill on the counter ,and turned and rushed out of the bar,The bartender picked up the five dollar bill,and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocked .
A Five Doller Tip (8/15/2009)
A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini The man downed it with one wallow,put a five dollar bill on the counter ,and turned and rushed out of the bar,The bartender picked up the five dollar bill,and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocked
Drinking in a Hurry (8/14/2009)
A guy rushes into a bar ,orders four expensive 30-year-old single mails and has the bartender line them up in front of him .
Buying Olives (8/8/2009)
A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini . Before drinking it ,he removedd the olive and carefully put it into a Glass jar.Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing.