Relationship Jokes

To see the full joke, please click on the appropriate link below

Funeral expenses


A woman’s husband dies. He had left $30,000 to be used for an….

Is Mommy There?

“Hello?” the child says on the phone.

“Hi, honey, this is Daddy. Is Mommy….

Men beware

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them….

Two cannibals

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get….

What I want in a man

Original List aged 20:

1. Handsome

2. Charming

3. Financially….

Social Security

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security…..

Grandads death

Mary went to see her Granny to see how she was coping. Grandad had been buried only the….

The loving hubby

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an….

Scottish wedding

Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock’s forthcoming….

A trip to the zoo

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.

She was wearing a loose….

Girls night out

Girls night out

Why females should avoid a girls night out after they….

Aren’t older women great?

When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years….

Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male….

The note

A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an

attractive woman. ….

FBI recruiting

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and….

Blow job

Martha recently lost her husband.

She had him cremated and brought his ashes….

Christmas Party

John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache,….

Comparing boyfriends

A Blond, Brunette and Red head are sat talking about their boyfriends.



What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?


7 types of sex

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:

1. Smurf Sex. This kind….

Can’t afford beer anymore

She told me we couldn’t afford beer anymore and I’d have to quit.

Then I….

You can be the man

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled “You Can Be the Man of Your….

Beautiful wife

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful….

Drunk woman

A man and his wife sat a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at….

Married life

I was in my back yard yesterday trying to fly a kite. I threw the kite

up in the….

Ed Zachary disease

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a

date or any sex….

The prescription

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The….

Mike and Karen

Mike was engaged to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down

for a little….

Bigger breasts….

Woman say’s to hubby, “I wish, I could have bigger breasts!”

Hubby replies, Try….


A man and his wife were in bed sleeping when at 2am, the phone rang. The husband picks….

Sex for the over 50s

Having sex with your wife when your over 50 is like being a National Trust….


Last night, my husband and I were sitting in the living room and I said to him, ‘I never….

The Love Dress

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house. She knocked on

the door then….


My wife has just come from upstairs wearing her new green dress and asked which film star….

Married life

A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She….


A man pulls wife into bedroom and rips off her clothes. “Please darling, do a handstand….

My wife…

I said to my wife, “when you take your bra off you look ten years younger”


Sad life?

Q: How do you know you’re leading a sad life?

A: When a nymphomaniac tells….

How did I get here?

Last night little Johnny become puzzled about his origin. “How did I get here, Dad”. I….

Gone fishing

A man called home to his wife and said, ‘ Honey I have

been asked to go fishing up….

Fancy dress

A couple were having trouble picking outfits for Halloween.After a while the wife got mad….

What do…..?

What does a clitoris, a birthday, an anniversary and a toilet have in….

How to make the other sex happy

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy..

A man only needs to be:

1. a….

How not to wake your wife!

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You….

Women drivers

I saw my wife earlier, she ran out of my best friends house, half naked into the car and….

My wife…

My wife started getting dirty phone calls two weeks ago and she’s worried he’s found out….

Send me your dream,laugh and tears

A girl sends her boyfriend a message saying:

If you are sleeping send me your dream,….

Jack and Jill Problem

Jack and Jill went up the hill for a little hanky-panky.

Stupid Jill forgot her pill….

Dirty talk

Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear!

Husband: kitchen,….


A Man is sitting in the living room watching his favourite football team compete for the….


An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left….


A wife texts her husband one cold winter morning: Windows frozen, won’t open!


Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.