Culturally Significant

Q. Why does yogurt love going to museums?

A. Because it’s cultured.

Q. Why does yogurt love going to museums?

A. Because it’s cultured.

Spaghett Outta Here

Q. What do you call a fake noodle?

A. An impasta.

Q. What do you call a fake noodle?

A. An impasta.

That’s One Way to Do It

Person 1: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes.

Person 2: How?!

Person 1: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.

Person 1: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes.

Person 2: How?!

Person 1: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.

Not Quite Cool as a Cucumber

Q. Which type of vegetable tries to be cool, but is only partly successful at it?

A. The radish.

Q. Which type of vegetable tries to be cool, but is only partly successful at it?

A. The radish.

Paint Diet

Q: Why did the dieter go to the paint store?

A: He wanted to get thinner.

Q: Why did the dieter go to the paint store?

A: He wanted to get thinner.

How Sweet

Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A: Because they cantaloupe.

Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A: Because they cantaloupe.

Grapes of Wrath

What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.

What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.

He’s In the Grave-y

Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.

Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.

Thirst Quencher

Boy, I just got hit in the head with a can of soda. I was lucky it was a soft drink.

Boy, I just got hit in the head with a can of soda. I was lucky it was a soft drink.

Whatta Ham

Q: What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? A: Pulled-Pork.

Q: What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? A: Pulled-Pork.

Clam Up

I went to a seafood restaurant and slipped. I pulled a mussel.

I went to a seafood restaurant and slipped. I pulled a mussel.

Emotional Wedding

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

The Garnish King

Q: What do you call the king of vegetables? A: Elvis Parsley.

Q: What do you call the king of vegetables? A: Elvis Parsley.

Egg-cellent

You know what’s hard to beat for breakfast? A boiled egg.

You know what’s hard to beat for breakfast? A boiled egg.

Better Latte Than Never

Spending a lot of time at the coffee bar can cause a latte problems.

Spending a lot of time at the coffee bar can cause a latte problems.

funny hot dog

Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

Milking It

A guy just threw a glass of milk at me. How dairy!

A guy just threw a glass of milk at me. How dairy!

Thyme to Laugh

I was going to grow an herb garden, but I couldn’t find the thyme.

I was going to grow an herb garden, but I couldn’t find the thyme.

Bananaphiles

The majority of Americans find bananas a peeling.

The majority of Americans find bananas a peeling.

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